


the world is not enough (but it is such a perfect place to start, my love)

by carrieevew



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Not Canon Compliant - Season 7 (The 100 (TV)), Season 7 fix-it, long-overdue conversations, no-one gets sucked by the anomaly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:29:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28838556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrieevew/pseuds/carrieevew
Summary: season 7 divergence where Bellamy realises he almost lost Clarke and makes a promise to protect her and Madi.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 20
Kudos: 92
Collections: The t100 Writers for BLM Initiative





	the world is not enough (but it is such a perfect place to start, my love)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VegettoBlue63bellamy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VegettoBlue63bellamy/gifts).



> written for a prompt submitted through the t100 fic for Black Lives Matter initiative. for more information about the project, visit [our carrd](https://t100fic-for-blm.carrd.co/) or [our tumblr](https://t100fic-for-blm.tumblr.com/).
> 
> title from _[The World is Not Enough](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eI7KxEerCYo%22)_ by Garbage.
> 
> enjoy!

Bellamy only let go of Clarke when she noticed Octavia with Gabriel, waving him over.

He released his hold on her and moved away with a sigh, but his hand remained clasped around her elbows. He wasn’t quite ready to let go of her completely just yet. Clarke clung to him as well, frowning.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, alarmed. Bellamy clenched his jaw, hating to be the reason why she tensed up again.

Before he could speak though, Clarke followed his line of sight and turned around, her eyes searching. Finally, she noticed the pair and looked back at him, slightly confused.

Bellamy put his hand over his face and rubbed at his eyes. He sighed deeply, tiredly. He felt Clarke’s hands tightening around his forearm and he lowered his hand, sending her a very weak smile, hoping it looked reassuring.

“Octavia came back from the Anomaly with some strange markings on her,” he said. Clarke’s eyebrows shot up and she tucked her chin into her collar, taken by surprise. Bellamy hummed, understanding her reaction.

“Yeah, and Gabriel claims they match some— _thing_ that he’d found in the forest a while ago. It’s why he put his cabin where he did, actually,” he continued, blinking rapidly. Honestly, the more he talked about it, the more insistent his headache was getting but she needed to know. _He_ needed to tell her.

Clarke nodded. “And he thinks Octavia will help him figure out whatever the hell it is, doesn’t he?”

Bellamy’s lips tugged into another small smile. He missed being on the same page with Clarke.

“I think he believes she’ll help him crack the whole mystery of the Anomaly once and for all,” he confirmed with a hum. “Octavia is somewhat less excited about the potential for scientific discovery but I think she wants to find out what happened to her, too.”

“So, she’s going with Gabriel, back into the woods. And you’re going with them,” Clarke stated, jerking her head towards the forest with a knowing look on her face.

Bellamy exhaled loudly and shook his head in resignation. “I’d much rather stay here with you—all of you. But the last time she went out there alone, she disappeared into a cloud of green smoke and I didn’t even know about it until after she already came back. I could’ve lost her forever and—“ his voice broke at the thought.

Sure, his relationship with his sister needed work and he practically banished her before. Still though, the thought of Octavia actually being gone was unthinkable. He’d be damned if he let her go there alone again, get lost somewhere in space again. Besides, ever since she came back, Octavia had some newfound levels of maturity that Bellamy couldn’t quite grasp but it seemed like he and his sister were actually on a way to recovery.

And clearly, Clarke understood. She smiled at him, her hands running up and down his forearms, bringing comfort.

“Bell, of course you’re going,” she said, tilting her head to the side. “I’d much rather all of you could stay here, too. But that thing, the Anomaly, it’s dangerous.”

She hummed, slightly amused. “Even Josephine was respectfully terrified of it and if there’s a chance for us to learn more about it, to figure out what it’s even supposed to be, I think it’s worth a try.”

Bellamy looked at her, noticing a slight furrow of her brow. They didn’t have the chance to talk much about what happened just yet but he could tell that sharing her mind with another person was an experience that Clarke wouldn’t be able to shake for a while and not just because she was fighting for her life in there. Bellamy couldn’t even begin to understand what that must’ve been like.

“Are you taking Echo and Miller with you?” Clarke asked, shaking him out of his thoughts.

He cleared his throat.

“Echo, yeah. But I want Miller to stay here with you, keep you safe,” he explained, looking her straight in the eye, hoping she’d realise that he meant her specifically. If there was anything he hated more than leaving Clarke behind, it was the idea of dragging her with them, back through the woods when she needed all the rest she could get.

But that meant that she’d be in Sanctum and he’d be away, where he couldn’t protect her.

Clarke’s features softened at his words. “I’ll be fine here, don’t worry,” she said in a gentle voice.

Bellamy let out a small snort.

“Yeah, of course I’ll worry,” he huffed. “Russell might be in chains but he’s still got acolytes here. Not to mention all the Children of Gabriel and Wonkru warriors we brought here. It’s hardly a safe haven right now.”

Clarke rolled her eyes good-naturedly. “And I’m not gonna be here completely alone,” she reminded him. “Indra’s here, Raven, Emori—hell, even Murphy will do in a pinch,” she teased and despite the tension in his veins, Bellamy could feel himself smiling at her.

“Still, can you please just stay close to Miller?” he pleaded. “He’s the only one I trust to keep all of you safe.”

Clarke nodded after a second, a sudden seriousness overtaking her features.

“I know,” she whispered. There was something in her eyes that let him know she understood—realised exactly how much it meant to him to know that she’d be safe.

He was leaving his family behind to go off, chasing magical swirls in the sky and the only way for him to do that and not drive himself crazy with worry was to believe that his family was protected.

***

To be perfectly honest, Bellamy couldn’t tell if Diyoza walking out of the Anomaly with a grown-up daughter in tow was the very last thing he expected to happen but oh, it was definitely up there. Somewhere alongside finding out that his sister spent nearly a decade on yet another planet, apparently raising a child.

When they reached Gabriel’s hut, he’d led them down a ladder and to a musty hole in the ground where they’d found—well, none of them really knew that. It was a large, metal, openwork ball floating above the ground and the longer Bellamy looked at it, the more convinced he became that his brain was about to leak out of his ears.

Of all the insane, improbable things that he’d seen in his life, this was _definitely_ the most ridiculous one. And it only got worse when Gabriel and Octavia entered the code she’d brought tattooed on her back, the Anomaly opened up and out walked two women who immediately threw themselves into Octavia’s arms.

Strangely enough, it wasn’t the sight of _Hope_ , a whole person he’d never met, but Diyoza, looking about twenty years older than when he’d last seen her, that was the final straw.

He’d left his sister to catch up with them, momentarily ignoring what they’d said about spending decades on an empty planet. He walked past Gabriel, whose childlike enthusiasm was lighting up his face like he’d just been given a gift he’s waited his whole life on; and then Echo, who just stood there motionless, as if she’d grown roots, her eyes following the people in front of her.

Bellamy walked out of the hut and into the forest, taking deep, wheezing breaths. He reached the edge of the clearing and put his hand on a tree, seeking some support. His head was spinning, his heart was hammering in his ears and he could see the stars dancing in his eyes even when he closed them.

Honestly, he was done.

For all he cared, there could be ten different planets and all of them inhabited by giant aliens who could swat them at their hearts’ desire. It wasn’t his problem anymore.

All he ever wanted was to keep his family safe, to make sure his loved ones were taken care of. Travelling between planets and jumping forward in time was too much for him. Whatever new adventure might the Anomaly bring them next, he didn’t want to have anything to do with it.

“Bellamy?” Echo called out from behind him.

He turned around slowly and saw the concern on her face. “Are you alright?”

Bellamy breathed out a chuckle. “I’m not sure yet, I think I need a minute to process it all.”

Echo nodded once and shifted her weight from one foot to another.

Thing were strange between them. Bellamy couldn’t help the thought that Echo had something to say to him but did her absolute best to avoid actually having that conversation and it was so unlike her that he was beginning to worry.

Echo straightened her back and walked up to him, looking like she was about to face an enemy combatant. Bellamy’s eyes widened.

“Are _you_ okay?” he asked, reaching for her. He put his hand around her elbow. Echo shot a glance down and then looked back up at him with a stiff smile.

“I have nightblood now, did you know that?” she asked with a huff. “I was supposed to become the next Simone while you were out here, saving Clarke.”

“ _What_?!” Bellamy hissed, his hand squeezing her elbow harder. Echo put her hand on his and removed it, sending him a hard look.

“I could’ve died, too. I was supposed to be erased and you know what I was thinking about in those last moments?” she spoke in measured tone, clinically relaying the experience. Bellamy stared at her speechless.

“Echo,” he finally choked out, not sure what to say.

She laughed then. A short snort and shake of her head. “That’s not even my name!” she countered, her voice finally betraying some emotion. “That’s what I was thinking—all this time we spent together and I never even told you the name my parents gave me. _Ash_.”

She looked down at the ground and let out a ragged breath.

“It’s not working between us anymore, is it?” she asked into her boots. Bellamy closed his eyes, a stone dropping into the pit of his stomach. Guilt flooded him—even more so when he realised how horribly relieved he felt at her words.

“No, it isn’t.”

He cleared his throat and looked at Echo. Her head was up and she looked resigned but not at all surprised.

“It was good up there, it really was,” she mused, shaking her head. “But I should’ve know it would be the end when you promised that nothing would chance when we came down. Only it wasn’t because of your sister, was it?”

Echo sent him a knowing look. Bellamy opened his mouth but nothing came out. His first instinct was to protest, to deny this claim that his feelings for Clarke had come between them but it occurred to him that it only would’ve proven Echo’s point. She didn’t even need to mention Clarke—technically, it could’ve been a million different little things that put them at odds. But his head went to Clarke immediately and his heart somersaulted at the very memory of finding out she was still alive.

“I’m sorry,” he finally settled on. Echo pressed her lips into a sad smile

“Don’t be,” she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. “We’ll always be family but it’s for the best that we go our separate ways.”

Echo moved her hand from his shoulder to his cheek. “We both deserve to be happy.”

She let go of him and walked away without another word, leaving Bellamy with his head spinning even more.

***

The trip back to Sanctum went by in a blink of an eye. None of them wanted to stay away for longer than necessary and even Gabriel seemed temporarily satisfied with all the new information that Hope and Diyoza brought back with them. The more they spoke about their time on Skyring, the more Octavia seemed to remember and though they still didn’t quite understand how any of it worked, at least it gave Gabriel some new material to spin his theories from.

Hearing that Octavia finally had the chance to live a peaceful, happy life with people she loved nearly brought Bellamy to tears. It wasn’t just that for the first time, she’d been safe and free. But the more time he spent with her, he could tell that the experience had calmed her down, centred her in a way Bellamy wasn’t sure would be possible. There was never a chance for Octavia to find that balance before and seeing her all grown up like that—and apparently _older_ than him, too, it dislodged a shard of ice from his heart that had been then since the day his sister was born and Bellamy realised that she would never be able to live a normal life.

There was little that made him happier than finding out that she finally had.

***

When Clarke found him, Bellamy was sitting on a bench in front of the tavern, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. Still, when she sat down next to him without a word, he had no doubt who it was.

“So, Hope and Diyoza,” she said with a half-chuckle. “That’s a new one.”

Bellamy opened his eyes and sent her a sideways glance. She was smiling lightly, looking at him with soft eyes. He swallowed, warmth spreading through him.

Ever since she came back, there was something in Clarke’s eyes whenever she looked at him—he didn’t dare put a name to it but was becoming increasingly hard for him to look away from her, to walk away even for a moment.

“And here I was, thinking that body-snatching was the craziest thing we’d ever come across,” he muttered. Clarke snorted and dug her elbow into his side.

“Insensitive much?” she teased, grinning.

Despite his strange mood, Bellamy grinned at her, shaking his head.

“I’m getting too old for this shit,” he complained with an exaggerated sigh. “I’m starting to think it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to say ‘screw it all’, jump into the Anomaly and start tending to the vegetable patches my sister planted on Skyring.”

He let out a small chuckle at the end, amused with his own idea. But when he looked at Clarke, she barely even reacted, just looked at him with a strange expression.

“Do you really mean that?” she asked quietly, uncertain.

Bellamy froze for a moment. Did she really think so? That after everything that happened over the last few days, he’d just leave her behind, just so he could have some peace and quiet?

He sat up straight and turned sideways.

“Clarke,” he said, his voice going up with slight anxiety. There was no way he could have her believe he’d abandon her ever again. His eyes searched her face, one of his hands closed around her wrists blindly.

Clarke took a deep breath and opened her mouth. She blinked a couple of times and to his utter surprise and confusion, she blushed.

She let out a strangled sound and then cleared her throat.

“There’s a house nearby,” she finally said. Her own hand came up to cover his gently, her delicate fingers brushing his calloused skin. “Russell built it for Simone, to recreate the farm house she grew up on.”

“He told you all that?” Bellamy asked, confused.

Clarke snorted lightly. “He and I don’t really talk about the good old days. No, I kept a thing or two from Josephine,” she explained, tapping her forehead with the pointer finger of her free hand.

“What I’m trying to say is—“ she cleared her throat again and looked down at their joined hands. “If you really don’t want to stay in Sanctum, there is a place we can go.”

Bellamy’s eyebrows jumped up and his breath died in his throat. After a moment of silence, Clarke looked up and with a flash of panic, she took her hand back.

“Or you could go, I didn’t mean that—“

Her cheeks were flushed crimson and her eyes were looking anywhere but at him. In a rush, he caught her retreating hand and brought the two together, clasped in his own.

“Clarke,” he called gently. She looked at him then, her brow furrowed in distress. Like she genuinely believed he wouldn’t want her to come with him. He hated it, that distance that was still between them, the uncertainty that they both felt.

But to be honest, he had no-one to blame for that but himself. He should’ve told her how he felt a long, very long time ago. Every time they said goodbye and reunited, every time he thought he’d lost her, that first time she’d told him she needed him. Maybe then she’d understand that he could never really breathe properly unless she stood by his side.

“Do you remember when we found the guns in that bunker?” Bellamy asked. Clarke nodded, confused. He smiled weakly. “I wanted to ask you to run away with me. Just screw everyone else and _go_ ,” he confessed.

Clarke let out a gasp. Bellamy intertwined their fingers together and her gaze dropped. For a second, he thought she might let go of him but instead, he felt her fingers tightening around his own. It emboldened him.

“Instead, you asked me to stay and I did—for you. If I thought it possible, I would’ve stayed with you during Praimfaya and wherever you want to go now, I’ll stay with you there, too.”

A single tear rolled down Clarke’s cheek but she didn’t even notice. Instead, she looked him straight at him, breathing heavily, her fingers squeezing his tightly.

Clarke sniffled loudly and without warning, she yanked her hands free and threw her arms around his neck, tucking her face into his shoulder. Bellamy hugged her back, their bodies twisted into a weird angle but neither of them cared. Clarke sighed deeply into his neck and Bellamy couldn’t help himself. He placed a soft kiss onto the side of her head.

Only it seemed to have a less than calming effect on Clarke. She froze in his embrace and then pulled away, her face contorted.

“Wait,” she said, bracing her hands on his shoulders. “What about—?” she hesitated, looking away, towards the containers, where they were all staying for the night.

Ah, right.

Bellamy brushed his hand down her side, stopping at Clarke’s waist.

“Echo and I broke up,” he explained. “It’s been a while since she and I wanted the same things.”

And then it hit him—if that’s how Clarke reacted to his offer to come with her, then she must’ve been thinking about the same thing he was, must’ve understood his intentions perfectly. And maybe, just maybe, his feeling were reciprocated.

***

That first day they spent at the farmhouse was unreal.

There were more people interested in taking a break away from Sanctum, so the whole group moved to the farm house with their meagre belongings. They all had a picnic on the grass, they watched Madi playing with Picasso and the most stressful thing that happened was when the soup boiled over and Murphy cursed them all for not appreciate his talents.

All in all, Bellamy had never had a more peaceful and relaxing day in his whole life. And yet, when the night came, he couldn’t sleep.

He wasn’t used to that much quiet—this far away from Sanctum, they couldn’t hear the people, all the electrical equipment in the house was turned off for the night and once everyone settled in, the house was dead silent. Which meant that every time someone so much as turned in their bed, causing it to creak, Bellamy would snap wide awake, convinced that someone was coming to get them.

After a couple of hours of tossing and turning, Bellamy gave up.

He got up from his bed, dressed himself and sneaked out of the house, careful not to wake anyone. He went onto the porch and sat down heavily on the bench. The wind blowing around him was cold enough that it kept him awake but not so much that he couldn’t stand it, which was just how he wanted it. At least from there, he could keep an eye on the grounds and make sure everyone inside was safe.

He couldn’t say how long he stayed there when he heard the main door open and close, and then Clarke’s voice, tinted with worry.

“Couldn’t sleep?” she asked, sitting down on a chair next to him. She had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders and another one in her hands. She handed it to him and without a word, Bellamy took it, nodding his head in acknowledgment.

“I saw you from the kitchen,” Clarke continued. “How long have you been here?”

Bellamy shrugged, not looking at her. She sounded casual enough but he knew that tone of voice. She knew exactly what he was doing there. He glanced at her, saw the way her eyebrows were scrunched in concern but he couldn’t talk about it just yet. So, he changed the subject.

“How about you? Nightmares again?”

Bellamy remembered well the terrified look of Clarke’s face when she woke up for the first time after Josephine was gone, how she needed to know if it was all real. It broke his heart to know that there was yet another thing to keep her up at night.

But now, Clarke shook her head with a reassuring smile.

“Not really, no,” she answered.

Clarke leaned back in her seat, the blanket around her shoulders falling open and Bellamy could see the loose shirt she wore to bed. She closed her eyes and sighed tiredly.

“They’re just weird dreams now. Half her memories, half mine.” She hummed. “I think my brain is just trying to sort itself out.”

Bellamy nodded. Then, realising she couldn’t see him, he spoke quietly. “But you’re okay?”

Clarke opened her eyes and looked at him, her gaze soft and affectionate. It sent a warmth down his spine.

“Yeah,” she promised in a whisper. “I just need some time.” She shifted in her seat, pulling her legs under her and resting her cheek on the back of the chair. It meant that she was facing him now, still smiling.

“We’re safe here, Bellamy,” she said after a while. Again, casual as ever. But Bellamy knew what it was about. Knew that she realised he couldn’t fully relax, not in yet another strange place.

“There’s a fence around the property, hooked up to an alarm system,” she explained.

“I know,” Bellamy nodded. He put his hands on his face and exhaled deeply. “I just, uh. The last time we all thought we were safe, you were taken and died. _Again_ ,” he hissed.

Clarke moved again, sitting at the edge of her seat, he knees bumping into his thigh. She put her hand on his knee and squeezed.

“But I didn’t really. And you saved me,” she reminded insistently. “Bell, you saved my life.”

He clicked his tongue. “Still, you were hurt. In danger. I can’t—“ He huffed. “I promise, I won’t ever let that happen again.”

Clarke scooted even closer and grabbed his hand. “I know that.”

“No, Clarke, I—I _promise_ you, I will protect you.” He leaned towards her, his hand squeezing her fingers. “You and Madi are my family and I’d rather die than see anything happen to you.”

“Bellamy, no, don’t do that,” Clarke rushed to say, shaking her head. “Don’t die for us.”

She got up from her chair, their hands still linked, and sat down on the bench, her side pressed into him. “Live for us. With us.”

The corner of Clarke’s mouth twitched into a small smile. “I couldn’t bare losing you, either. Okay?”

Bellamy looked at her for a moment. Her eyes wide and pleading, lips curled into a gentle smile. He raised his hand and placed it on her cheek, cupping her jaw. Immediately, she nuzzled into his hand with a content sight.

“Let’s not lose each other, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked this! thank you so very much for reading. comments and kudos will be welcomed like manna ;-)  
> come and find me on tumblr @[carrieeve](https://carrieeve.tumblr.com).


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